Eating breakfast, especially cereal, when ttc and when pregnant makes little boys while eating no breakfast and less calories in general makes little girls. Or so a new study has concluded.  

So, did my almost 70 pound weight gain from eating almost exclusively breakfast foods make my Peanut a Peanut and not a Peanuette? Or did all of those pancakes, omeletes, french toast and Cheerios just contribute to his egg and peanut allergy?

Since we are hoping for a girl next time, my new lower-calorie diet has eliminated all cereal.   The first time I planned the horoscope of my baby to-be and next time I will try to influence the gender as well.  My control issues are, perhaps, getting a bit out of control.

But, the 3rd, that one, I am throwing caution to the wind.  No trying to  plan control horoscope signs, gender, food allergies and all the rest. Whatever will be, will be.  My husband says not to worry, there will never be a 3rd. But, I say, you can’t control everything.

 This month’s guest column is written by Adrienne Griffen of Post Partum Support Virgina. For more information, please contact Adrienne at (703) 243-2904 or Adrienne.griffen@gmail.com.

Read April’s guest column here, postpartum-depression-support.doc

First things first: while you wait to find out the good and/or shocking news, head over to www.twoweekwait.com. Compare symptoms and join an online pregnancy group. I enjoyed sharing my pregnancy with my online friends in my due date club. There was always someone awake at 3 am to chat with me about all things baby. The site also has a pregnancy club, as well. But, I found the site most fun while expecting and enjoyed my real life mommy friends once Peanut finally arrived. 

Maternity Clothes: Isabella Oliver: I do not know how I would have left the house for 9 months had I not found this website. The store is in England, but you can easily make online purchases and returns. I wore the hipster A-line skirt and the hipster trousers almost every day of my pregnancy and even for a few months afterward. They looked great, fit well and were extremely comfortable. The dresses, while very cute, did not work for me. I would assume they work best on tall woman. www.isabellaoliver.com  Target: The best maternity pj’s ever and the best prices. Their t shirts are great as well. Stock up. www.target.com Nordstroms online has a great selection of maternity dresses. They are often on sale. www.nordstroms.com  Books: I love all of the Girlfriends guides by Vicky Iovine. The Girlfriends Guide to Pregnancy made me laugh every time I read it. And, I read it often during those long 9 (10) months.  Another book I read over and over again is Your Pregnancy Week by Week by Dr. Glade B. Curtis, OBGYN and Judith Schuler, M.S. I loved getting in bed Sunday night with my husband and reading what our baby was going to do that week.  Jenny McCarty’s Belly Laugh’s is actually really funny. I remember when I had time to read.

O.k, Finally, some thoughts on what to spend your money on…

The most important advice I have about shopping for your soon to be baby is not to buy too much. You will want to buy everything. During those last few days or weeks of your pregnancy when you are nesting it will seem as though there is no better use of your time than to stock  your house full of every baby item, every cleaning agent, every cosmetic, everything and anything you could possibly ever need once your baby arrives.It seems to make so much sense. Who has time to go food shopping, to the drug store or to the baby stores once baby is here. But, don’t do it.  First, you may buy all the wrong things for your baby, just as I did. Just because 45 people gave something a “must have” rating on Amazon.com, does not mean your baby will like it. Just because you read that you will only want to put your baby in side snap t-shirts doesn’t mean you will need 15 of them. In short, do not buy much for the baby before he or she is here and in one way or another tells you want he or she wants.  Second, you may want to get out of the house after baby is home, even for a few minutes, and running to the store for a necessity is the perfect excuse.  Third, you can just as easily order from www.drugstore.com or www.amazon.com when you are up all night with the baby as you can when you are nesting. And, you will have a better idea of what products you will need post-pregnancy when you are post-pregnant. WHAT NOT TO BUY -The Guide.1. A travel system. I was told by more than one mom not to bother with a travel car seat/stroller system. I did not listen. This was, yet another, mistake. I rarely used it. The stroller was bulky and heavy and rarely left my garage. Buy a snap and go or equivalent to pop the infant seat in when you are getting in and out of your car. There is no reason why this won’t work on the metro as well. It is light and it is easy to open and close. I even used mine for long walks and at stroller strides.  2. A fancy jogging stroller. I registered for the BOB Ironman stroller. I thought it would be perfect for my husband who ran marathons. I thought it would be perfect for fast walks and long walks. I hate the front wheel that does not move. My husband swears that it is great for running. But the number of times he uses it does not justify the price tag. A regular stroller is just fine for walking. For jogging or running, I would suggest any jogging stroller with a moving front wheel. And, most likely my husband will not be running marathons anytime soon.  3. A Bumbo seat. I read such great reviews for the Bumbo seat. A must-have! I read over and over again. My son had zero interest in it. It was fine for him to try to wiggle his way out of for five minutes. But that was it.  Other babies I know love their Bumbo seat. Your best best is to try your baby in one in a store or at a friends before you buy. you will not be using it for a few months, so there is no need to register for it or to buy it before your baby is atleast 2 months old. They have since been recalled due to babies falling off tables in their Bumbo seats. You can either only use the Bumbo seat on the floor closely watching your baby or avoid them altogether.4. A Baby Bjorn, sling, wrap or other carrying device. Again, I recommend meeting you baby and seeing how he or she will want to travel before investing in one.

From the Beginning- the pregnancy  From the beginning, I got it wrong. I was convinced I was not pregnant. My doctor was convinced I was not pregnant. My blood was convinced I was not pregnant. I dragged my husband to Barnes and Nobles to read books about not being pregnant. I cried that I would never be pregnant.   I soon learned that I was wrong. I was, in fact, pregnant. And, I would continue to make many more mistakes. I did the wrong things, I bought the wrong things, I registered for the wrong things, and I worried about the wrong things. In short, my advice is simple: do not do what I did.

In the beginning:

Do not:  1. Obsess about getting pregnant. I am sure you have heard this one before. You are more likely to get pregnant when you stop trying so hard. For the most part it is true. If the anxiety does not prevent you from getting pregnant, it will prevent you and your partner from wanting to try and get pregnant.

  2. Convince your doctor to give you a blood test days before your period is due because, “you can’t wait another day”. It may be too soon to detect the pregnancy hormones in your blood convincing you that you are not pregnant, convincing you to have a glass of wine and cry that you are not pregnant, when, in fact, you are pregnant and should not be having a glass of wine crying that you are not pregnant.  

3. Think that there is no way you could be pregnant because you feel like you are about to get your period. The way that you feel in the days before you find out that you are pregnant is exactly the same way you feel in the days before you get your period. The same bloat, the same cramps, the same acne, the same crankiness. The only difference for me was that I was even crankier and I had a nose bleed.  

4. Obsessively take pregnancy tests. I did not learn this until the 3rd month of trying. Even the early tests can not tell you if you are pregnant much earlier than the day of your missed period. If you simply can not control your need to compulsively test, buy the cheap tests from the dollar store or on line. Try: www.accuratepregnancytests.com or www.saveontests.com Just keep in mind, they probably won’t work. They never did for me. But, they will satisfy your need to test every day (all day) without spending a fortune. Once you are pregnant there are so many more fun things on which to spend a fortune-but more on that later.

My advice: may as well just relax and see what happens.